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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27171037">A Matter of Trust</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mordhena/pseuds/Kalkasar'>Kalkasar (Mordhena)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Trust [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Trek: Enterprise</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Conflict, Conflict Resolution, Dominance, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Submission, concerned Charles Tucker</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 07:29:22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,968</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27171037</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mordhena/pseuds/Kalkasar</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>There were many things Archer regretted in his past, and one of them was the failed relationship with his friend, Charles Tucker III.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jonathan Archer/Malcolm Reed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Trust [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1983196</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Elements of Dominance and submission ahead. Buckle up. Not always Safe, Sane and Consensual.</p><p>AN supplemental:<br/>For purposes of this story (and most of my ENT stories), I rely on<br/><a href="https://www.cygnus-x1.net/links/lcars/blueprints/enterprise-nx-01-deckplans/enterprise-nx-01-deckplans-sheet-5.jpg">this deck plan:</a><br/>In my mind, Trip is in the E Deck uppermost  fore section “Officer’s Quarters” cabin (8).<br/>Malcolm occupies the larger private cabin (9) on the main corridor closest to “Armory High Bay (19)” The Captain’s quarters (15) are nearest the mess(13) and Captain’s Mess (14) and T’pol is in the cabin next to his. I believe my imagining of Trip’s and the Captain’s quarters location aligns with canon. The rest is conjecture on my part.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><em>"You can't go the distance<br/>With too much resistance<br/>I know you have doubts<br/>But for God's sake don't shut me out"</em><br/>~Billy Joel -- Matter of Trust<br/><br/><strong>A Matter of Trust</strong></p><p><strong>I</strong><br/><br/>Malcolm Reed was busy in the armory when the comm came to life next to his station.<br/><br/>"Tucker to Reed."<br/><br/>"Reed here."<br/><br/>"I was wonderin' if you still want to work out together after shift today?"<br/><br/>Malcolm looked up with a frown. "Of course," he replied. "I'll meet you in the gym at the end of shift as usual."<br/>He paused and then added. "Unless <em>you</em> wanted to cancel?"<br/><br/>"No... I'm good." Tucker answered. "I'll see ya then."<br/><br/>Malcolm went back to the routine maintenance on the targeting sensors. He puzzled over Tucker's call.<br/>Admittedly, this was the first time that the engineer had approached him since the day Tucker thought it<br/>necessary to apologize for things that had happened during the singularity. Malcolm had accepted that<br/>apology and as far as he was concerned, that was the end of the matter. He wondered why Trip thought<br/>he may not have wanted to get together for their regular work out. It was beyond him.<br/><br/>When his shift ended, Malcolm got changed into workout clothes and headed to the gym. He was already<br/>well into his warm-up when Tucker arrived.<br/><br/>"Sorry I'm late," Trip said as he moved to a bike. "I got a little caught up." He smiled and started his workout.<br/><br/>They were silent for a few minutes. It wasn't the usual companionable silence, and Malcolm glanced at his<br/>friend a few times, wondering what was bothering him. He moved on to do some leg curls, allowing Tucker<br/>to decide whether to talk or not. Perhaps something had gone wrong during his shift that was upsetting him.<br/>If that was the case, it was best to let the engineer blow off steam with exercise until he was ready to talk.<br/><br/>A tone sounded on Tucker's bike to signify that his warm-up was complete and he could move on to something<br/>else, the engineer stopped pedaling but he didn't move from the bike.<br/><br/>Reed sat up, wiping sweat from his neck as he looked at his friend.<br/><br/>"Trip? What's bothering you?"<br/><br/>"Wha?" Tucker seemed to pull his thoughts back from a great distance and turned to meet Malcolm's eyes.<br/>"Oh... it’s nothin'." He smiled. "Y’know what, I think I'll just... I'm not much company today. I'm gonna head out."<br/><br/>Reed frowned and stood up. "Are you sure? Perhaps we could do something else? A light dinner or something,<br/>I don't mind..." He pulled his shirt off as he moved towards the showers. "Anything you'd like is fine."<br/><br/>"Nah, really. I'm real tired. I think I might just..." Tucker trailed off and moved quickly to stand beside Reed.<br/>"What's this?" His fingers lightly traced across Malcolm's shoulder. "Did someone <em>bite</em> you?"<br/><br/>Malcolm froze. He'd forgotten about the bite. He glanced over his shoulder to meet concerned blue eyes.<br/><br/>"It's nothing," he said. "I've had Phlox look at it. It will heal."<br/><br/>"Malcolm, tell me..." Tucker's eyes clouded with worry. "Did Jon do this to you?"<br/><br/>"Leave it, Trip." Malcolm stepped away and pulled his shirt back on. "On second thoughts, I think I'll shower<br/>in my cabin."<br/><br/>"Malcolm, if y’had Phlox look at it, then why didn't he treat it for you then and there? He's got dermal regenerators.<br/>Things to..."<br/><br/>Malcolm rounded on him. "Look, what I do in my private time has nothing to do with you, Commander. I've asked you<br/>to drop it! Now kindly step aside. I'd like to leave!"<br/><br/>Tucker raised his hands in a gesture of resignation. "Okay... sorry." He stepped away from the door and watched with<br/>a frown as Reed brushed past him and strode into the corridor.<br/><br/>Anger propelled Malcolm along the corridor for a few yards before he slowed his steps. He drew a deep breath and<br/>shook his head. Tucker had only showed the kind of concern any friend might be expected to exhibit. He closed his<br/>eyes, regretting his hasty reaction to his friend's questioning. After all, the bite hadn't been an act of malice... far from<br/>it. Malcolm experienced a ripple of excitement just thinking about how it had happened. He realized that his defensiveness<br/>would only give Trip cause to suspect the worst and he muttered a curse as he walked to the lift.<br/><br/>He needed to shower and get cleaned up, but maybe he could catch up with Trip after that. Before it was time to meet Jon.<br/>He would explain to Trip that things were fine between himself and the captain. He would explain that he was happy. Happier<br/>than he could recall being in a long time. Malcolm smiled to himself as he sent the lift to E deck.<br/><br/>---<br/><br/>Charles Tucker made his way to Captain Archer's private mess deep in thought. He couldn't stop replaying the exchange in<br/>the gym with Malcolm and he turned the problem over and over trying to decide what he should do about it.<br/><br/>This was a situation he would rather not have to deal with. It brought back memories and feelings he'd buried a long time ago.<br/><br/>Archer was already in the mess when Tucker arrived. He turned to greet the engineer with a smile.<br/><br/>"Hi."<br/><br/>Trip avoided the captain's eyes, uncomfortable in his friend's presence for the first time in many years.<br/><br/>Archer didn't seem to notice Tucker's discomfiture, moving to the table, he poured two glasses of wine and waved the<br/>engineer to a chair.<br/><br/>"T'Pol not joinin' us?" Tucker's heart sank when the captain shook his head.<br/><br/>"She said she has a few reports to catch up on."<br/><br/>"Oh." Trip moved to the table and sat on the indicated chair. He lifted his glass and took a sip of the rich, dark wine the captain<br/>had selected.<br/><br/>"How're things in engineering?" Archer sat opposite the commander and leaned back in his chair, easy grace marking his every<br/>movement. Tucker glanced at him and quickly looked away.<br/><br/>"Okay," he said. "We got those upgrades completed today."<br/><br/>Archer nodded, studying him. "Good." He glanced at the galley door as it opened to admit a steward with the first course.<br/><br/>Making a pretense of interest in his food, Tucker leaned forward and began to eat. The food had all the taste and consistency of<br/>sand, but he chewed determinedly, fixing his gaze on his plate. They ate in silence for several minutes.<br/><br/>"Trip..." Archer began.<br/><br/>"So, any news from home?" Tucker rushed to cut the captain off.<br/><br/>"Nothing important." Archer set down his knife and fork. "Trip, look at me."<br/><br/>Tucker swallowed the mouthful of food he was chewing and met the sea green eyes. "Sir?"<br/><br/>"Jon." The captain leaned forward. "We're not on duty, Trip." A small frown creased Archer's brow. "What's bothering you?"<br/><br/>"I worked out with Malcolm this afternoon."<br/><br/>"Oh?" Archer's frown deepened. "Why would that bother you? You two work out together often..."<br/><br/>"Yeah." Tucker set down his fork. "We do."<br/><br/>Archer was silent, waiting.<br/><br/>"Malcolm and I are good friends, Jon." The tiniest emphasis on Archer's first name. "We talk about a lot of things. I consider<br/>him the one person I can confide in. I thought he felt the same way about me. 'Till today."<br/><br/>"Has something happened to Malcolm? Is something... is there something...?" Archer was instantly tense, his green eyes narrowing.<br/>"Tell me, Trip. What's wrong with him?"<br/><br/>"I think you know." Tucker met his friend's eyes levelly. "Somethin' about a bite mark on his shoulder." His voice took on a note<br/>of challenge.<br/><br/>Archer looked away not speaking.<br/><br/>"Jon, are you outta your mind? After all that..." Tucker trailed off, pushing to his feet and moving away a few paces. "After what happened<br/>the last time?"<br/><br/>"It's not what you think, Trip." Archer's voice was a low murmur. "It wasn't like that."<br/><br/>Tucker rounded on him. "I don't believe that. Not one word. I know what you're like. I know what you need. It starts off small. Little<br/>things -- a bite, a pinch. Don't try an' tell <em>me</em> what it's like, Jon!" He was breathing hard. "I warned y’back then I wouldn't let this happen<br/>again. I meant it! "<br/><br/>"It's different this time, Trip. <em>I'm</em> different. Malcolm is..."<br/><br/>Tucker laughed -- a short, mirthless sound. "Malcolm is not the kinda man you wanna be messin' with! He's not gonna handle a relationship<br/>like that...you don't know anythin' about where he's come from, Jon. You're playin' with fire, but it's Malcolm who'll get burned!"<br/><br/><br/><br/>"Enough!" Archer got to his feet and moved face to face with the engineer. "You're my best friend, Trip, and I'll take a lot from you,"<br/>the captain said. "But you're dangerously close to crossing the line." He looked into Trip's eyes steadily. "You've always trusted me,"<br/>he said softly. "I need you to trust me one more time. I won't hurt Malcolm. I gave you my word that I'd never hurt anyone again.<br/>I intend to keep it."<br/><br/>Tucker nodded and backed down. He passed a hand over his face and let his breath out slowly. "All right," he muttered.<br/>"But do me one favor?"<br/><br/>"What is it?"<br/><br/>"Malcolm hasn't even had the bite treated properly. You know how easy it is for a <em>human</em> bite to get infected. If ya <em>hafta</em> play rough, at least<br/>make sure he takes proper care of himself."<br/><br/>Archer sighed as the tension in the room dissipated. "I'll... talk to him.”<br/><br/>"Sure." Tucker turned and headed for the door. "If y’don't mind, I don’t have much of an appetite tonight."<br/><br/></p><hr/><p><br/>Archer watched as the engineer left the mess before he returned to the table to continue his meal. He told the steward that Tucker<br/>was not feeling well and finished dinner alone.<br/><br/>He frowned, reviewing the conversation with Trip. There were many things Archer regretted in his past, and one of them was the failed<br/>relationship with his friend, Charles Tucker III. They had managed to move on when it ended, and Archer had thought that they had put<br/>the past behind them. Tucker's reaction tonight, gave him reason to think that perhaps it had not been properly resolved. He couldn't<br/>deny that the confrontation annoyed him more than a little, and he certainly intended to raise the issue with Malcolm later that evening.<br/><br/>That Malcolm had not had the wound treated bothered him. Archer sighed as he finished his coffee. He pushed to his feet and walked<br/>out of the small dining room heading for his quarters to await Malcolm. He pondered calling his lover and asking him to meet him at his<br/>cabin, but dismissed the thought. He needed time to mentally prepare for the discussion.<br/><br/><br/><strong>II</strong><br/><br/>Malcolm walked into the captain's cabin promptly at their assigned time. He stood just inside the door, far enough for the sensor<br/>to allow the door to close behind him, but without moving into the room entirely until Archer looked up.<br/><br/>"Come here," Archer said.<br/><br/>Malcolm moved to where the captain sat on the end of his bed and sank to his knees in front of his lover. He raised his eyes to Jon's face,<br/>noting the small crease between Archer's brows. He remained silent, waiting for his lover to speak first.<br/><br/>"Take off your shirt," Archer said.<br/><br/>His hands went to the buttons, unfastening them slowly as he maintained eye contact, but Archer shook his head.<br/><br/>"Quickly!" His voice was rough with suppressed anger. "I want to look at you!"<br/><br/>"Sir?"<br/><br/>"Quiet! Do as you're told."<br/><br/>Malcolm's gaze flickered away for an instant as he tried to think what he had done to anger his lover this time. He quickly unbuttoned the<br/>shirt and let it fall to the floor behind him. He swallowed hard as Jon's gaze moved to his shoulder, quickly followed by fingers that gently<br/>traced over the bite mark. Even that light pressure hurt, and Malcolm flinched. Then the realization hit. Tucker must have spoken to the<br/>captain about the bite. He lowered his eyes.<br/><br/>"Look up, Malcolm." The tone was gentle, but not warm.<br/><br/>Slowly, he did as he was told.<br/><br/>"Why didn't you have this wound seen to?"<br/><br/>"I..." he swallowed and shook his head. "With everything else that was happening, it didn't seem important. The doctor was busy with..."<br/><br/>"It's important, Malcolm. <em>You're</em> important. Your health is important. You're not just my lover. You're the ship's armory officer." Archer sighed.<br/>"You have got to take better care of yourself." He paused. "You should have seen the doctor. But this is my fault as well... I wasn't thinking<br/>straight when this happened, you know that. Had I been, I would have seen to it myself. I'm sorry."<br/><br/>"Sir, you're not to blame..."<br/><br/>"Quiet." Archer waved him to silence and got to his feet. "It's probably a little late for this, but I'm going to do it anyway." He moved to a<br/>small cabinet and took out a first aid kit.<br/><br/>Malcolm remained on his knees, waiting for his lover to come back. He raised trusting eyes to Jon's face when the captain moved to stand in<br/>front of him again.<br/><br/>"Sit on the bed," Archer said as he set the first aid kit down and opened it, rummaging inside for supplies. He took out a hypo-spray and read<br/>the label for the contents. Setting it on the bed next to Malcolm, he dug around in the kit until he located a small, foil-wrapped package which<br/>joined the hypo-spray. He took out a gauze pad and a vial of saline and then sat next to Malcolm on the end of the bed.<br/><br/>"Turn 'round."<br/><br/>Doing as the captain commanded, Reed tensed a little as he heard the sound of the foil tearing.<br/><br/>"What are you going to do?" he ventured, glancing over his shoulder dubiously.<br/><br/>"I need to reopen the wound," Archer said. "Relax. I did basic field medical training, the same as everyone aboard. I won't hurt you. Promise." He took<br/>a small scalpel from the foil and tapped Reed gently on the shoulder. "Come on. It'll only take a moment."<br/><br/>Malcolm nodded, turning to give his lover access to the wound. He closed his eyes and sucked in a short, hissing breath at the sting of the blade.<br/>He tensed, but the captain worked quickly, deft fingers opening a small cut at the site and dabbing with gauze to absorb the slight bleeding his<br/>treatment caused.<br/><br/>Malcolm gulped another sharp breath when Archer liberally washed the area with saline. It stung, and he squirmed, shrugging his shoulders against<br/>the mild pain.<br/><br/>"Sorry," he muttered, ashamed that a little cut could cause such a reaction and then he yelped when Jon pressed at the wound. "What the bloody hell...?"<br/>He shied away but a firm hand stayed him.<br/><br/>"Malcolm, I want to make sure there's no chance of this getting infected. Hold still."<br/><br/>With an effort, Malcolm relaxed under Archer's hands and let him examine the wound.<br/><br/>After a few moments, the captain grunted an affirmative. He applied a smear of anti-septic cream and covered the wound with a small dressing.</p><p>Picking up the hypo-spray, Archer prepared to administer it.<br/><br/>"Are you allergic to anti-biotics?"<br/><br/>"No, sir."<br/><br/>The medication was administered with a hiss against Reed's neck and the captain re-packed the first aid kit in silence.<br/><br/>Malcolm bowed his head, staring at his hands as he waited for the captain to put the kit away. He had a feeling this discussion was<br/>not over. He sighed, steeling himself for the worst.<br/><br/>His suspicion about Tucker was confirmed when the captain turned to him.<br/><br/>"How did Trip find out about that wound?"<br/><br/>"He saw it... when we were going to shower after our work-out," Malcolm replied in an undertone. "I'm sorry. I forgot it was there and ..."<br/><br/>"You forgot? It looks sore to me, Malcolm. How could you forget it was there?"<br/><br/>"I... I don't know," Malcolm said miserably. "I didn't mean for it to happen." He felt like a child caught in a misdemeanor. The way he had<br/>always felt when he managed to displease his father. He glanced up and met the captain's eyes. "I wasn't thinking, sir...I... I'll accept any<br/>discipline you see fit."<br/><br/>Archer frowned at him. "Discipline?"<br/><br/>"Yes, sir."<br/><br/>"I don't think that's necessary, this time." Archer moved to hunker down in front of him. "I would have appreciated a little warning that<br/>Trip knew though." He smiled and patted Malcolm on his uninjured shoulder. "It's all right." He stood up and turned towards the bathroom.<br/>"I'm going to wash-up, and then I think it's time we got some rest."<br/><br/><br/><strong>III</strong><br/><br/>Charles Tucker woke from sleep that was at best, fitful. He breathed hard and his heart raced. Closing his eyes, he drew a couple<br/>of slow breaths, rubbing one hand across his chest. He paused when his fingers encountered a small ridge of scar tissue. Such a tiny scar,<br/>now, but it carried memories that he thought he had dealt with long ago. Tucker sighed and sat up on the side of his bed.<br/><br/>He swallowed convulsively, focusing on calming his racing pulse. "It was a dream," he told himself. "Just a bad dream."<br/><br/>The engineer raked his fingers through his hair and stood up. Walking into the bathroom, he splashed cold water on his face before using<br/>the head. A glance at the clock as he returned to his sleeping quarters told him it wasn't worth trying to get more sleep. He was on duty in<br/>a few hours and he knew he'd only toss and turn all-the-more if he went back to bed now.<br/><br/>He grabbed a pair of sweats and a shirt and pulled them on. Putting on a pair of trainers, he left his cabin. Maybe he could grab an early<br/>breakfast or something.<br/><br/>The mess was deserted when he walked in. Tucker went to the dispenser and ordered a mug of hot chocolate, which he took with him to a<br/>viewport. Staring out at stars streaming by as he sipped the hot liquid, Tucker did his best to put the dream out of his mind. One hand traced<br/>the scar on his upper chest through his shirt.<br/><br/><em>It was years ago</em>, he reasoned. <em>A lot can change in that time</em>. A lot <em>had</em> changed. He'd even managed to rebuild his friendship<br/>with Jonathan Archer. The captain said things were different now. Tucker wanted to believe him, but what if he just let things go and something<br/>went wrong? What if Malcolm got hurt? Tucker closed his eyes and drew a deep breath.<br/><br/>A moment later, the mess hall doors slid open, causing Tucker to start so violently that he splashed hot chocolate over his hand.<br/><br/>"Sonuvva..." Tucker quickly put the mug down and shook his hand free of the scalding liquid.<br/><br/>"Commander, I didn't mean to startle you." Doctor Phlox walked over to him, his expression all concern. "You've scalded yourself. Let me take a<br/>look."<br/><br/>"It's really nothin'," Tucker gave a small shake of his head.<br/><br/>"Perhaps I'd be the better judge of that, hm?" Phlox beamed a smile, his tone brooking no argument.<br/><br/>Tucker relented with a sigh, and let the doctor examine his hand.<br/><br/>"Nothing a dermal regenerator won't fix in a moment," The doctor amended Tucker's own diagnosis. "If you'd like to come down to sickbay,<br/>I can attend to it immediately."<br/><br/>Seeing no chance of wheedling his way out of the doctor's clutches, Tucker nodded, and they headed for the doors. Tucker glanced<br/>at the doctor, who seemed wide awake and alert, even at this early hour. He couldn't help being curious.<br/><br/>"Doc, do you ever sleep?"<br/><br/>"I rest occasionally, but... Denobulans don't require sleep between hibernation cycles."<br/><br/>"Oh yeah... I forgot about that."<br/><br/>"Humans, on the other hand, don't hibernate." Phlox smiled when Tucker looked up. "Is it something you'd care to talk about? I know the captain<br/>sleeps better after he's... gotten things off his chest, as he puts it."<br/><br/>Tucker flinched at the mention of the captain, and wondered if Phlox had caught the slight, startled movement. He met the Denobulan's bright blue<br/>eyes for a moment, considering, and then shook his head. "I don't think so."<br/><br/>They made their way to sickbay in silence and the doctor attended to Tucker's hand.<br/><br/>"Am I okay for duty?" Tucker asked as he slid down from the bio-bed.<br/><br/>"I don't see why not," Phlox replied. "But take it easy, and come back if there is any discomfort."<br/><br/>"Thanks, Doc." Tucker headed for the doors.<br/><br/>"Commander?"<br/><br/>Trip halted and turned to find the doctor regarding him with a look of friendly concern.<br/><br/>"I can assure you, whatever is troubling you would stay between the two of us. After all, there is the matter of doctor-patient confidentiality."<br/>The Denobulan gave his odd triangular smile and Tucker nodded.<br/><br/>"Thanks, Doc. I'll keep that in mind." With another small nod, the engineer turned and left the sickbay quickly.<br/><br/>He was halfway to the lift when he realized his fingers were again tracing that line of scar tissue. He let his hand fall to his side with a determined<br/>shake of his head, pushing his nightmare and the events that had brought it to the surface firmly to the back of his mind.<br/><br/>He had to get to work. He could put everything out of his mind and concentrate on his beloved engines.<br/><br/><br/><br/><strong>IV</strong><br/><br/><em>"Some love is just a lie of the soul<br/>A constant battle for the ultimate state of control<br/>But that won't happen to us,<br/>Cause it's always been a matter of trust."</em><br/>~Billy Joel "A Matter of Trust"<br/><br/>Jonathan Archer paced his cabin. He pressed his lips together in a thin line as he replayed the events of the previous night in his mind. It had taken<br/>all of his considerable will to keep his temper in check. To tend to the bite wound on his lover's shoulder and shrug off the situation with Tucker.<br/><br/>He had to admit he was worried. Tucker had obviously not moved on from events of the past as well as he'd made out. Jonathan sighed and shook<br/>his head. The last thing he needed right now was for Malcolm to find out about his history with the engineer. At least, not from Trip.<br/><br/>The captain balled his hands into fists as he pondered the situation. This whole thing between himself and Trip should have been brought<br/>out into the open. Examined, talked out and brought to closure. Jon had wanted that, but Tucker wouldn't even speak to him for a long time<br/>after the events of the night that effectively ended their relationship.<br/><br/>He shook his head, cursing himself for having given in to Tucker's wish to break all contact between them until he was given command of<br/><em>Enterprise</em>. He should have tried to broach it again then, but Tucker had seemed okay. They'd resumed an easy casual friendship, and the past<br/>had seemed insignificant. Till now.<br/><br/>He had no intention of harming Malcolm Reed. Somehow, he would have to convince Trip of that. He'd grown and changed since that long-ago incident,<br/>and he wanted a chance to prove that. To Tucker and to himself.<br/><br/>He cared for Malcolm and was aware of the honor that Reed had bestowed on him in offering him such trusting submission. He would not do anything to<br/>jeopardize that precious gift. Archer sighed. He was fairly certain that Malcolm wanted their relationship to continue exactly as it was. He smiled at the<br/>memory of his lover's face that morning. Dark grey eyes, hooded by heavy lids as Malcolm woke and stretched lazily, turning to him.<br/><br/>Malcolm practically purred with satisfaction.<br/><br/>Archer needed to talk to Trip though. There were obviously issues remaining from the past that needed to be resolved once and for all. He frowned.<br/>When and how would be the best way to approach that? He would just have to wait for an opportune moment to get Tucker alone he decided. But<br/>he would have to do it before Tucker decided to tell Malcolm what had happened between them.<br/><br/>The captain pulled his thoughts back to duty and walked out of his cabin.<br/><br/>Arriving on the bridge, Archer glanced around and nodded acknowledgements to greetings. His eyes narrowed when they fell on Tucker, who stood<br/>by Malcolm's station. He was bending over the console speaking quietly, but he straightened and fell into 'parade rest' position when Archer looked<br/>at him.<br/><br/>Tucker nodded to him, but Jon didn't miss the wary glimmer in the engineer's eyes. It was an expression he hadn't seen from Trip in a long time. It irked him.<br/>He nodded a response and moved to his chair.<br/><br/>Archer lifted his gaze to the view screen, ignoring the pair at the tactical console. Watching the stars streaming by was soothing, and the captain allowed<br/>his mind to wander back to a time almost nine years ago.<br/><br/>He'd met Trip, then.</p><p>---<br/><br/>Archer was impressed by the stubborn and outspoken young engineer. Tucker caught his eye from the moment they met. When the young lieutenant flew to the<br/>defense of the Warp 3 engine. A small smile touched the captain's lips at the memory of the outraged expressions on the Vulcans' faces when a mere lieutenant<br/>dared to counter them.<br/><br/>"There's nothin' wrong with that engine!"<br/><br/>Fascinated with a man who was not afraid to defend the project to men who outranked him by position, if not by direct chain of command, Jonathan invited the<br/>engineer to meet him for a drink.<br/><br/>Things went on from there, and the two were soon firm friends. Jonathan began to ponder whether Tucker would be interested in something more. Archer had<br/>long acknowledged his own sexuality, and although Tucker flirted openly with Ruby at the 602 club, he wasn’t averse to casting an appraising eye over the male<br/>form from time to time as well.<br/><br/>The opportunity to find out just how receptive to the idea Tucker might be, didn't come until much later. After the NX project was assured of continuing and work<br/>had begun on creating the Warp 5 engine.</p><p> </p><p><br/><br/>"Captain!"<br/><br/>Archer blinked and came back to the present at T'Pol's insistent call. He glanced at his science officer, still a little unfocussed.<br/><br/>T'Pol raised an eyebrow at him and then glanced down at her console. "I am reading a Minshara-class planet, twelve light-years from our current position."<br/><br/>Archer pushed to his feet and moved to stand in front of her console.<br/><br/>"Is it inhabited?"<br/><br/>"Negative." T'Pol performed scans. "Initial readings indicate that the planet sustains only basic life-forms. I do not read any<br/>humanoid life-signs."<br/><br/>He nodded. "Perhaps we should take a closer look. Travis." The captain turned towards the helm. "Lay in a course."<br/><br/>As he returned to his chair, Archer's eye again fell on Tucker, leaning over Reed's panel, their heads close together as they discussed some readings on the tactical<br/>console. He paused in mid-stride watching them, and a shiver ran the length of his spine. By his sides, his hands balled into fists.<br/><br/>"Mister Reed," he said. "I want to see you in my ready room."<br/><br/>Tucker stepped back from the console and their eyes met for an instant over Malcolm's head. Archer lifted his chin in an unspoken challenge. He held the eye<br/>contact until Tucker's gaze faltered and then he turned and walked briskly into the ready room, closely followed by Reed.<br/><br/>"What was he saying to you?" Archer rounded on his lover the minute the door closed behind them.<br/><br/>Reed blinked several times and his brows came together in a frown. "Saying?" he shook his head. "Sir, I..."<br/><br/>Archer stepped closer to his lover, putting a hand on the shorter man's shoulder. "He was leaning over you... I saw you whispering together! What was he saying?<br/>Tell me, Malcolm!"<br/><br/>"Commander Tucker?" Reed's frown deepened. "He was...we were discussing the planet... looking at the readings. Captain, I..."<br/><br/>Archer turned away, pushing a hand through his hair as he fought for composure before he spoke again. "Before we discovered the planet. What was he saying to you<br/>when I came onto the bridge?"<br/><br/>"Nothing of any importance, really," Malcolm shifted his weight from one foot to the other and slipped his hands behind his back. "Something about power relays.<br/>I don't recall exactly. They were just day-to-day matters."<br/><br/>Archer closed his eyes and drew a deep breath.<br/><br/>"That's all?" His voice sounded rough in his own ears.<br/><br/>"Yes, sir."<br/><br/>Turning to face Reed the captain studied him closely, reading confusion and worry in his eyes. After a moment he drew a breath and let it out on a sigh.<br/>He nodded.<br/><br/>"All right, Malcolm." Jonathan rubbed his chin with one hand and then moved to stand in front of his lover.<br/><br/>"Is there something the matter, sir?" Malcolm's eyes searched his face, reflecting more than a tinge of worry.<br/><br/>"It's all right," Archer said softly. One hand came to rest lightly against Malcolm's cheek. "I don't know what I was thinking. I'm sorry."<br/><br/>"Jonathan?"<br/><br/>"I'm just a little edgy." He allowed a small, boyish grin to touch his lips. "It's been a rough week."<br/><br/>Malcolm nodded, seeming to accept the explanation. He shifted his weight again. "Will that be all, sir?"<br/><br/>"Yeah." Jon turned away again, moving to the view port and staring out into space. "You can go.”<br/><br/></p><hr/><p><br/>Tucker stood on the bridge, behind Malcolm's console, watching the ready room door as he waited for Malcolm to return from the impromptu meeting with the captain.<br/><br/>He'd not missed the cold edge to Archer's tone when Jon called the tactical officer to the ready room. He was worried. Had he done something to get Malcolm into trouble?<br/><br/>A few minutes after the pair had gone into the room, the door opened and Malcolm emerged, alone. He was frowning, his eyes clouded.<br/><br/>Reed didn't return to his station. Crossing the bridge, he stepped into the lift, obviously opting to spend some time in the armory. There was only one reason Malcolm<br/>would do that. Usually, it meant he wanted some think time.<br/><br/>Tucker waited a few minutes before he too headed for the lift and made his way to engineering. What he'd seen on the bridge that morning did nothing to alleviate his<br/>concerns for Malcolm. He spent the rest of the morning brooding over it in the engine room.<br/><br/>By lunch time, he'd decided to try and catch up with Reed and make some discreet enquiries about what had happened in the ready room. He couldn't just let<br/>things go on this way, but he didn't know what he should do about it.</p><p>
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<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Set during, and immediately after The Catwalk. Archer and Malcolm continue to explore the new aspect to their relationship.<br/>Malcolm confronts Trip.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>If you have read the prequel "A Stranger to me" and notice inconsistencies here, it is because there was a gap of 17 years between the writing of "A stranger to me," Chapter 1 of this story, and this chapter. I have, however gone back and updated the prequel and made changes to chapter one of this story. Please forgive me and if you feel like it, re-read, although it is not entirely necessary. The discrepancies were minor ones.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><em>Some love is just a lie of the heart<br/>The cold remains of what began with a passionate start<br/>And they may not want it to end<br/>But it will it's just a question of when</em><strong><br/></strong>A Matter of Trust, Billy Joel<br/><br/></p><hr/><p>
  <strong>I</strong>
</p><p>Archer prowled the catwalk, ostensibly doing rounds, checking in with his crew. He offered a word of encouragement here, a solution to a puzzle there; what he really wanted was to see Malcolm. Since being forced to evacuate all crew, plus their guests to the catwalk two days ago, Jon had barely had a moment to himself. Naturally, his nightly dates with Reed had been curtailed. It was bothersome, but with radiolytic isotopes flooding the rest of the ship, from the Neutronic storm, they’d had no choice but to lock themselves away in the cramped confines of the catwalk. A ‘crawlspace’ as T’Pol had called it.</p><p>Archer huffed a breath. He’d walked the length of the starboard nacelle with no sign of Malcolm. He was about to move to the portside, when he spied Malcolm emerging from the jury-rigged sickbay area.</p><p>“Thank you, Doctor.” Malcolm murmured as he climbed onto the catwalk.</p><p>Archer paused a moment, studying him. “Everything all right, Malcolm?”</p><p>Reed gave the tiniest flinch of, what? Surprise? Alarm? He didn’t meet Jonathan’s eyes. “Never better.” He flinched as the ship rocked to spatial turbulence.</p><p>Archer frowned. He attempted to put a hand on his lover’s shoulder, but Reed moved on without a backward glance.</p><hr/><p>Captain Archer would just happen to be passing when I left sickbay! Malcolm huffed a breath, grasping the handrail to steady his footing at another jolt of turbulence. Motion sickness is one of the main reasons I declined to join the navy. I certainly didn’t expect it to affect me in space. At least, not once I got accustomed to Zero-G at Lunaport.</p><p>It was mortifying to think the captain had almost caught him in a rare moment of weakness. He’d brushed by his lover without a second glance, wanting only to get away from Jonathan before another wave of nausea struck. Thankfully, the medication Phlox had given him seemed to be kicking in and he did feel somewhat better by the time he reached the command center.</p><p>Travis was at the temporary helm station and turned to greet Malcolm when he entered. “Hey, Lieutenant.”</p><p>“Travis.” Nodding to the Ensign, Malcolm moved to check on the tactical controls. Not that there was much to do. He couldn’t blast their way through the storm, much as he may like to. “Do you think you could possibly make the sailing any smoother?”</p><p>Travis chuckled. “This is about as good as it gets, sir. The storm is pretty wild.”</p><p>Malcolm grunted. Satisfied with his settings for now, he stepped towards the door. “Call me if there’s any problems.”</p><p>“You got it. Oh! Travis turned to look at him. “There’s a poker game after work, again. Fancy trying to win some ration packs?”</p><p>Malcolm considered for a moment, and then nodded. “I hope you’ve got a peach cobbler,” he said. “Anything to take the taste of pot roast out of my mouth.”</p><p>Travis turned back to the helm, grinning and Malcolm stepped out of the command center to find himself face to face with the chief engineer.</p><p>“Commander.”</p><p>“Malcolm.”</p><p>They sidled past one another in the cramped space and Malcolm headed towards his assigned living space.</p><p>“Malcolm?” Trip’s voice stopped him.</p><p>“Sir?” He turned around.</p><p>Tucker stood by the command center hatch. He opened his mouth to speak, but then his eyes tracked beyond Malcolm and he shook his head. “See ya at the poker game?”</p><p>Malcolm turned his head, following Tucker’s gaze. Archer approached along the catwalk. Turning to Tucker, Malcolm gave a brief nod and walked away.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>II</strong>
</p><p>Archer was fuming. It seemed to him that the harder he tried to catch a moment with Malcolm, the more elusive the man became. From the brush off outside Phlox’s sickbay area, to Malcolm’s hasty retreat from the command center, and then his quickly excusing himself when Archer stopped by the poker game to ‘check in’ earlier that evening, it felt as though they’d been playing cat and mouse all day.</p><p>Now, the catwalk was quiet, most of the crew having retired to their allocated sleeping areas. A scattered few, here and there gathered in clusters conversing quietly or sitting in companionable silence. Gamma shift, most of them, passing the time between regular check-ins at their workstations.</p><p>Trip must have said something to Malcolm. It was the only explanation Jon could think of. Anger burned brighter in him at the thought, and he lengthened his stride heading to the small section he knew had been assigned to Reed and Ensign Tanner.</p><hr/><p>Malcolm shifted position in the cramped space, wincing as he tried to get comfortable on the thin sleeping mat which provided a barely adequate barrier between his hip and the deck plating underneath. He grunted, trying to focus on the book in his hand. He’d packed Ulysses even though he had read the story at least a dozen times in his lifetime. It was a comforting favorite which he often turned to in times of stress, and had been one of the first items he packed for their extended sojourn in the catwalk. He squinted in the dim lighting focusing on the print and relocating his place.</p><p>“Malcolm?”</p><p>Reed sat up, placing a bookmark and closed the book. He couldn’t see who’d called his name, but the voice was unmistakable. He got up and poked his head out from behind the blankets he and Tanner had rigged as a privacy screen.</p><p>“Captain?”</p><p>Archer stood on the walkway above, gazing down on Malcolm with a dark expression.</p><p>“Is something the matter, sir?”</p><p>“I’ve been trying to catch up with you all day.” Archer kept his tone level, but the dangerous gleam in his eyes told Malcolm this was no casual conversation.</p><p>Malcolm made to climb onto the catwalk, but Archer stepped forward, hunkering down. “Where’s your bunkmate?”</p><p>Malcolm glanced over his shoulder at the small screened off area. “He’s on duty, sir.”</p><p>“Good.” A swift movement and Archer had swung down into the well, a hand on Malcolm’s chest propelling him backwards, behind the blanket screen.</p><p>A thrill of danger rippled through him and Malcolm lifted his chin, meeting Archer’s gaze boldly. “Sir, I…”</p><p>“Quiet.” Archer leaned in and kissed him.</p><p>Malcolm sucked in a breath, helpless for a moment under the onslaught of his lover’s lips, and tongue, the sharp nip of teeth on his bottom lip. He stifled a groan and pulled away. “Jonathan,” he whispered. “I think…”</p><p>“I don’t really care what you think, Malcolm.” Archer ran his hand from Malcolm’s chest to his groin, palming his cock through the loose pajama pants. “I miss you.”</p><p>Malcolm stepped back, breaking the contact. “If someone should overhear.”</p><p>Jonathan growled and swung away, pacing the confined space for a moment then turned to Malcolm. “You’ve been spending a lot of time with Trip,” he said.</p><p>Malcolm frowned, genuinely puzzled. “I suppose so. Then again, everyone has been spending a good deal of time with <em>everyone</em>, sir.”</p><p>“Has he said anything to you?”</p><p>“Said anything?” Malcolm shook his head. “Jonathan what’s this about?”</p><p>“Don’t evade the question, Malcolm.”</p><p>“I’m not. I don’t understand the question! What’s wrong? What do you expect Trip to have said to me?”</p><p>Archer came to stand in front of him, the restless energy dissipating a little. He huffed a breath. “There’s something I need to tell you. Something about Trip and me.”</p><p>“What is it?” Malcolm studied Archer’s face with concern. “Tell me.”</p><p>“We… Trip and I…”</p><p>A violent jolt shook <em>Enterprise</em> causing them both to stumble. Archer steadied Malcolm with a firm hand on his arm.</p><p>“What the hell was that?” Archer was already pushing through the privacy screen, climbing onto the catwalk.</p><p>“I don’t know.” Malcolm followed.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>III</strong>
</p><p>It was over. After eight days and an attempted hijacking, the crew of the <em>Enterprise</em> were released from quarantine and allowed to return to their cabins.</p><p>Malcolm Reed emerged clean-shaven, scrubbed, and correct after the best shower and grooming session he could recall in, well, at least eight days. He made his way to the captain’s mess. Jonathan had invited him to a private dinner.</p><hr/><p>Archer sat at the table in his private mess waiting for Malcolm to arrive. It was a relief to be out of the catwalk, clean and looking forward to something other than pot roast for dinner. Jon surveyed the table, spread with the customary white linen cloth, silverware laid out and a wine glass at each place. He’d had the steward set Malcolm’s place to his right, rather than at the foot of the table. He’d also asked the steward to bring their meals on a trolley and leave it, so that they could dine uninterrupted. Not only was this the first truly private time they would spend together in days, it was important for another reason.</p><p>Jon let out a breath.</p><p>As he’d left the catwalk that morning, Trip had caught him up in the corridor.<br/><br/>“Jon…”</p><p>Archer turned to look at Tucker. “What is it, Trip?”</p><p>“I was just wonderin’ if you’ve had a chance to talk with Malcolm?”</p><p>Archer didn’t miss the slight emphasis on ‘talk.’</p><p>“Not yet.” He frowned, turning away.</p><p>“Jon…”</p><p>“Trip…” the captain turned to face his friend. “Just when was I supposed to have had a private moment with him in the past eight days?” He shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “I <em>tried.</em> Malcolm very rightly brushed me off. Just when I did try to talk with him, we discovered that the warp engines had been brought online. But if it makes you feel any better, I’ve arranged for Malcolm to join me for dinner tonight. So, if there’s nothing else, I’d like to get home and get out of this stale uniform.” Archer turned and walked towards a lift, leaving Tucker in his wake.</p><p>You’re my best friend, Charlie, Archer thought. But sometimes you can be a major pain in the ass.</p><p>The door chimes brought Archer to his feet. He pressed the control to open the door. “Right on time,” he said, beaming at his lover. “Come in.”</p><p>Malcolm stepped into the mess and sniffed the air appreciatively. “Something smells nice,” he said.</p><p>“I ordered grilled fish with lemon and herbed butter.” Archer closed the door. “Can I get you a drink?”</p><p>“Just a glass of wine will be lovely.”</p><p>Archer nodded. “Have a seat.”</p><p>Malcolm moved to the table, looking over the seating arrangements. “Hm. Above the salt, I see.” He flashed Archer a faint smile.</p><p>“I’m sorry?” The captain lifted a bottle from the ice bucket and poured for Malcolm.</p><p>“Oh, it’s something from a series of novels I’m reading. Set on an imaginary world. They have dragons and a feudal system. If you’re in favor with the ruler, you get seated closer to him. If not, you’re relegated to the further end of the table or hall. Above, or below the salt, which is always in the middle.”</p><p>“I see. Sounds… interesting.”</p><p>“Apparently they were quite popular in the 21<sup>st</sup> century. Got made into a television series. I’d like to see it. Some of the battle sequences with dragon fire were ahead of their times.”</p><p>Archer took covered platters from the steward’s trolley and set one of them in front of Malcolm before sitting down with his own meal.</p><p>“Perhaps we can see if they’re on the movie database,” Archer said.</p><p>“Mm.” Reed nodded, taking a bite of the grilled fish. “After I finish the books.”</p><p>Archer smiled. He couldn’t remember a time when he’d seen Malcolm so effusive. He made a mental note to make sure the program appeared in the ship’s library.</p><p>“This is very good.” Malcolm smiled at Jonathan, indicating the fish. “I’m so glad to be out of quarantine and have something other than ration packs or pot roast to eat.”</p><p>Archer chuckled. “Chef did his best with limited resources,” he said.</p><p>“Quite.” Malcolm glanced away. “I don’t mean to sound ungrateful.”</p><p>“It’s alright, Malcolm.”</p><p>“Sir…” Malcolm put down his knife and fork and met Archer’s gaze across the table. “I was wondering. This evening…” He huffed a breath. “Is this a formal occasion?”</p><p>“Why would you think that?”</p><p>“Well, normally, we dine in your cabin.”</p><p>“No, it’s not formal. I wanted to meet on neutral territory.”</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“Because we need to talk about some things that I’d rather keep outside of my quarters.”</p><p>“Oh.” Malcolm frowned and set his gaze on his plate.</p><p>“Malcolm.” Archer put a hand on Reed’s where it rested on the table. “There are things you need to know. I was going to tell you this, the night we discovered the Tekrat militia aboard.”</p><p>“I remember,” Malcolm said. “Something about you and Trip.”</p><p>“That’s right.”</p><p>“What is it?” Clouded grey eyes met Archer’s gaze.</p><p>The captain drew a long slow breath and let it out. He knew that he stood to lose something very special and that knowledge made his heart beat harder, but he owed it to Malcolm to let him hear the story from his own lips.</p><p>“Trip and I were lovers,” he said. “It was a long time ago. I thought that we’d both moved on, but…”</p><p>“Trip hasn’t.” Malcolm looked away and closed his eyes. “Of course.”</p><p>Archer saw Reed’s throat work as he swallowed hard.</p><p>“Malcolm?”</p><p>“I suspected,” Malcolm said. “Certain things of late. Conversations.” He shook his head.</p><p>“You and Trip talked about this?” Archer was suddenly tense, annoyance surfacing. “I <em>asked</em> <em>you</em> what he’d been saying, Malcolm!”</p><p>“I told you, he hasn’t said anything.” Malcolm looked into Archer’s eyes. “It was a feeling I got from the way he acted. Besides, that was before you asked me what he’d been saying to me.”</p><p>Archer nodded, taking Malcolm’s word. He’d never known the man to lie to him and didn’t think he was now. “All right,” he said. “Trip insisted that I should tell you about us.”</p><p>Malcolm met Jonathan’s eyes. “You said the relationship didn’t last long. How did it end?”</p><p>Archer smiled. “I think I’m going to let Trip field that question,” he said. “It will serve him right.” He pushed his dinner plate aside. “Do you want dessert?”</p><p>“Actually, I think I’ve had enough to eat for now.”</p><p>“Me too. Shall we turn in?” the captain stood up. “You’ll come back to my quarters, won’t you?”</p><p>Shadows still lurked in the depths of Malcolm’s eyes, but he nodded with a faint smile. “I’d like to.”<br/><br/><br/></p><p>
  <strong>IV</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Trip signed off and submitted his duty report to the database before he left engineering. Compared to the week spent navigating the storm, it had been a relatively boring day. He and Rostov had spent most of the shift recalibrating the warp drive after it’s extended downtime.</p><p>Making his way to a lift, he directed it to E Deck. He decided he’d grab something from the mess and take it back to his quarters. Maybe catch a movie and some much-needed private time. Of course, the galaxy had other plans.</p><p>“Commander!”</p><p>Trip closed his eyes for a second and let out a breath before turning around. “Lieutenant Reed? What c’n I do for ya?”</p><p>“I wondered if I might have a word.”</p><p>“Malcolm, it’s been a long day. Can’t this wait?”</p><p>“I rather think not.” Something flickered behind Malcolm’s gaze that Trip couldn’t decipher.</p><p>With a sigh, Trip gave up on his plans for a bit of alone time. “I was about to get some dinner. If y’wanna join me?”</p><p>“It’s a personal matter. Perhaps we should talk somewhere more private.”</p><p>“Great. Well, I was plannin’ to eat in m’cabin anyway. C’mon.” Trip led the way to the mess hall.</p><hr/><p>Malcolm sat in Trip’s quarters, a small empty plate on his lap. He’d opted for scones and a cup of tea while Trip had brought home a cheeseburger with fries and a slice of pecan pie.</p><p>“So, what’s on your mind?” Tucker asked as he set aside his half-eaten dessert.</p><p>“I wanted to talk with you about Jonathan.” Reed looked the engineer in the eye. “About your past involvement with him.”</p><p>“So, he told you. I wondered when he’d get around to doing that.”</p><p>“Really? I’m left wondering when you were going to?”</p><p>“I was. Soon. If Jon hadn’t talked to you, I told him <em>I </em>would. Did he tell you why it didn’t work out?”</p><p>“I asked him about it. He was happy to let <em>you</em> field that question.”</p><p>Tucker got up, gathering their dishes onto a trolley by the door. He poured a glass of water from a small jug on a side table and waved the jug at Reed who shook his head. Tucker returned to his seat at the desk.</p><p>“Jon’s got this… fetish,” Trip said.</p><p>“Fetish isn’t the word I’d use,” Malcolm replied.</p><p>“Whatever y’call it, Jon likes to play rough.”</p><p>Reed coughed. “He’s a dominant lover. I’ve not found him unduly aggressive.”</p><p>“Malcolm, are you gonna let me tell ya what happened, or just sit there defendin’ him all night?”</p><p>The sudden and swift flare of anger from Tucker shocked Malcolm. Trip could be quick tempered when he was tired or hungry, but this seemed to come from somewhere deeper. Reed leaned back in his chair. “I’m sorry. Go on.”</p><p>“I first met him when I was workin’ on the warp 3 project. You think I got a big mouth now? Back then, I didn’t know when to keep it shut. I tore into the Vulcans one afternoon when they were criticizing that engine. Caught Jon’s eye.” Trip paused, gazing reflectively out of the viewport. “Commander Jonathan Archer,” he murmured. “Henry Archer’s son.” He looked at Malcolm. “I gotta admit, I was a little starstruck when he started talkin’ to me.”</p><p>Malcolm nodded. “I’m sure.”</p><p>“He asked me out for a drink.” Trip shook his head. “I thought he was just bein’ friendly. At first, that’s all it was. Friends. We had the warp engine project in common. Jon’s lived, breathed and dreamed that project all his life. So’ve I, I guess.</p><p>“We saw each other often working on warp 3 and outside of work. Then, one night, it crossed over from friends to somethin’ more. We’d had a few more drinks than usual. Come time to go home, Jon was too drunk, and my place was closest.”</p><p>Trip was quiet for a long time, his expression far away. Malcolm stayed silent, waiting.</p><p>“In hindsight, maybe we shoulda just let that night be what it was. Shouldn’t have kept it going.” Trip frowned. “It was good though, at the start.”</p><p>“What went wrong?”</p><p>Trip rubbed the fingers of his right hand across a spot on his chest. He frowned. “Jon started to get a little pushy in the bedroom. At first, I went along with it. I didn’t really like it, but it made him happy.”</p><p>“Did you tell him you didn’t like it?”</p><p>“Nah. It wasn’t…” Trip shrugged. “I thought he’d get past it. We were under pressure at work, maybe he was just ventin’ plasma.”</p><p>Malcolm sighed, shaking his head. “But he didn’t get past it.”</p><p>“No.” Trip met his eyes. “That last night we spent together he… he cut me.”</p><p>Malcolm felt his blood go cold recalling Jonathan’s deft handling of the scalpel the day he’d tended to the mark on his shoulder.</p><p>“We didn’t sleep together again after that. I broke it off not long after.”</p><p>“Did you ever talk with him about this? Work through it?”</p><p>“Not really.” Trip sighed. “Every time we saw each other after that night, it ended in a yellin’ match. I didn’t want to lose his friendship, but in the end, it seemed like the best way to resolve it was to not see him or talk to him. That’s what we agreed on. Until Jon got command of the <em>Enterprise</em> and asked me to sign on as Chief Engineer. There’s no way I was gonna pass that opportunity up.</p><p>"I told Jon back then, that if I ever got wind that he’d hurt someone else, I’d see to it that…”</p><p>“You broke up with him, but you think you have the right to interfere in his relationships?” Malcolm stood up. “That’s ludicrous!”</p><p>“I don’t want to see you get hurt, Malcolm.”</p><p>“I won’t.”</p><p>“You already did!”</p><p>“That was nothing. A love bite, Trip.”</p><p>“I don’t think you know what you’re getting into, Malcolm.”</p><p>“I know perfectly well. I’m not a stranger to this kind of dynamic. Frankly, what Jonathan and I do together is none of your bloody business! I’d thank you for staying out of it.”</p><p>“Dynamic? What d’you mean by that?”</p><p>“BDSM, Dominance and Submission, Kink. Call it what you will.”</p><p>Trip blinked rapidly, staring at Malcolm as though he had grown horns.</p><p>“You’re… into that kinda thing?”</p><p>“So, what if I am?”</p><p>“No… it’s fine. I don’t have a problem with it, I just…” Trip pushed a hand through his hair and sat back, shaking his head. “I just never thought-”</p><p>Malcolm scoffed and shook his head. “You never imagined I’d be interested in offering my submission to anyone? That just proves how very little you know me, doesn’t it?</p><p>Reed let out a breath and sat down. He let go the tension that had crept into his shoulders. “Jonathan is not abusing me, Trip. He wasn’t abusing <em>you </em>the night he cut you. Whatever you may have thought, it wasn’t about hurting you. What he does with me isn’t about hurting <em>me</em>. It’s a matter of trust. An exchange of power. I’m happy with the arrangement.”</p><p>Trip bowed his head in defeat. “I’m sorry.”</p><p>“You need to talk with him,” Malcolm said. “This thing between the two of you needs to be resolved.”</p><p>“Yeah. I think you’re right.”</p><p>“Do it soon, please. I’m tired of it coming between us.”</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Discussions are had, decisions are made, and<br/>the past is allowed to fade into the past.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><em><br/></em><em>This time you've got nothing to lose<br/>You can take it, you can leave it,<br/>Whatever you choose<br/>I won't hold back anything<br/>And I'll walk away a fool or a king.<br/><br/>A Matter of Trust</em>, Billy Joel</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>I</strong>
</p><p>With dinner over, T’pol rose from her place at the captain’s table. “If you will excuse me, I have several reports to review before I sleep.” She nodded to Archer and then to Trip before leaving the captain’s mess.</p><p>Archer watched her leave then turned to Trip. “How about you? Got work to catch up on before bed?”</p><p>“I’m all up to date, sir.”</p><p>“There’s one for the books.” Archer chuckled and finished the last mouthful of coffee.</p><p>“You and Malcolm don’t have a date tonight?”</p><p>“No,” Archer said. He rubbed the back of his neck with one hand. “I was hoping you and I could catch up. On a personal level.”</p><p>“Yeah, I’ve been hopin’ we could too.”</p><p>“D’you want to come back to my cabin, have a beer?”</p><p>“Sure.”</p><p>--</p><p>“Malcolm and I talked,” Trip said as Archer ordered two beers from the dispenser in his cabin. He took the glass the captain offered him. “I told him about what happened…that last night we spent together.”</p><p>Archer took a seat, his green eyes fixed on Tucker as he took a mouthful of beer.</p><p>“I explained to him that I was just worried that he’d get hurt.”</p><p>“What did he have to say about that?”</p><p>“Told me to mind my own business, pretty much. ‘I’d thank you to stay out of it,’” Trip mimicked Reed’s accent, drawing an amused grin from the captain.</p><p>“That sounds like something he’d say.”</p><p>“He said… that the bite was nothing. Just a love bite. He explained that you two have a particular kind of relationship and he’s happy with the arrangement.”  Trip frowned, staring into his glass.</p><p>“Trip?”</p><p>Tucker met Archers eyes and then looked away.</p><p>“What else did Malcolm say?”</p><p>“He told me that you’re not abusing him. That you weren’t abusin’ <em>me</em> that night when… when you cut me.”</p><p>“That’s not entirely true.” Archer set his beer aside. “I did abuse you that night.”</p><p>Trip looked at him.</p><p>“Not intentionally. But I broke your trust. I’ve regretted it for a long time.”</p><p>Trip didn’t speak. He closed his eyes.</p><p>“I should have talked to you, Trip. Discussed what I wanted and made sure that you were comfortable with it.” Archer huffed a breath. “I was inexperienced and… more than a little cocksure and arrogant.”</p><p>“Jon, I…”</p><p>Archer held up a hand. “Let me finish.”</p><p>Trip swallowed hard, nodded. He took a mouthful of beer before he set his glass aside.</p><p>“I shouldn’t have let this go on for so long without addressing it,” Archer said. “I thought that you’d moved on. I thought we both had, but it’s plain that this still bothers you.”</p><p>“Not until recently.” Trip shook his head. “I swear, I was fine, Jon. It was just, seeing Malcolm marked like that. It stirred up old memories. Besides, I didn’t really give you a chance to make it right.”</p><p>“I want to make it right, now,” Jon murmured. “I’m sorry, Trip. What I did to you that night was… irresponsible. I’ve lived and learned since then, and I promise you, I’d do it differently if we had the time over again and I knew what I know now. Can you forgive me? Can you trust that I won’t harm Malcolm?”</p><p>Trip looked into his friend’s eyes. He was silent for a long, tense beat then he nodded. “I forgive you,” he said. “You said that you should have discussed what you wanted with me… Is that what you did with Malcolm?”</p><p>“No.” Archer paused, frowning. “There hasn’t really been a need to. Malcolm’s… experienced with this kind of relationship. I’m not his first Dom.” He sighed. “It’s not easy to explain. We both just…sensed what was going on and there’s a mutual trust and consent.”</p><p>Trip nodded. “Okay,” he said. “I guess since Malcolm told me pretty much the same thing, I gotta trust that you both know what you want, and what you’re doin’.”</p><p>“We do.” Archer smiled at him. “You have my word on it.”</p><p>Trip picked up his beer and held the glass out in a toast. “Then I wish you the best.”</p><p>Archer picked up his drink and touched the glass to Trip’s. “Thanks. That means a lot.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>II</strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Malcolm woke in his own quarters feeling rested and content. It had been pleasant, he realized to have some time on his own territory. He got up, showered, dressed for duty and headed to the mess for breakfast.</p><p>Several crewmembers greeted him as he approached the drinks dispenser to order a hot cup of Earl Grey. Malcolm acknowledged their ‘good mornings’ with nods and something approaching a smile on his lips. Tea in hand, he fetched a tray and selected poached eggs with grilled tomato and ciabatta toast for breakfast.</p><p>“Someone’s got a healthy appetite this mornin’.” Trip spoke beside him as Malcolm set the steaming cup of tea on his tray.</p><p>“Commander.” Malcolm glanced at the engineer. “A good breakfast is the foundation of a successful day.”</p><p> “Huh. You get these quotes out of a book or somethin’?” Trip shook his head.</p><p>“How do you mean?”</p><p>“Well, back when you and I got stuck on Shuttlepod One, you said something about a well-groomed officer bein’ at his best… now this breakfast quip.”</p><p>Malcolm huffed a laugh. “I suppose I ‘get’ them from my upbringing. My father was a navy man. He had an aphorism for any occasion.”</p><p>“Uh huh. You obviously swallowed a dictionary in your sleep, too.” He chuckled at Malcolm’s puzzled look. “Mind if I join ya for breakfast?”</p><p>“By all means.”</p><p>They found a table and settled in to eat.</p><p>“Jon and I talked last night,” Trip said.</p><p>“Yes, he mentioned that he was going to.” Malcolm met his eyes across the table. “How did it go?”</p><p>“We uh, reached an understandin.’”</p><p>“I’m glad.” Malcolm was. Not only because settling the past might help his relationship with Jonathan, but because Trip was a good friend and the recent tension had been difficult to cope with. Malcolm had few enough friends, and Trip was his only true confidante on board <em>Enterprise.</em></p><p>“I’m still not sure I understand what either of you gets from this stuff,” Trip said. “But I don’t need to. S’none of my business anyway.” He met Malcolm’s eyes. “But I want you t’know, Malcolm, if there’s ever a time you need a friend. I’m here.”</p><p>Malcolm smiled. “I’m sure you know that sentiment goes both ways.”</p><p>Trip nodded and they continued their meal, the conversation turning to other matters, engines, weapons and the latest lower-decks gossip.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>III</strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>In Jonathan’s quarters that evening, Malcolm curled against his lover’s side. Their lovemaking had been a tender exchange, on equal footing. Malcolm sighed running his fingers through the fuzz of coarse hair on Jonathan’s broad chest. He closed his eyes, drifting towards sleep.</p><p>“Malcolm?” Jonathan’s voice was low, barely above a whisper.</p><p>“Hm?” He stirred a little, opened his eyes.</p><p>“Are you happy?”</p><p>Blinking, Reed pulled away slightly and looked into his lover’s eyes. “Of course, I am.”</p><p>Jonathan rolled on his side, facing Malcolm and kissed him briefly before pulling back to search his face with clouded green eyes.</p><p>“What’s the matter?”</p><p>“Something Trip said last night.” Jonathan huffed a breath. “A question he asked. Not unreasonable. It’s been on my mind.”</p><p>“What is it?”</p><p>“I told Trip that what I did was irresponsible, when I marked him—cut him. I told him that had I known then what I know now, I would’ve discussed what I wanted with him first.”</p><p>“Yes?”</p><p>“He asked me if I had talked to you before I bit you. I had to tell him I didn’t.”</p><p>“That’s hardly a comparable situation,” Malcolm said. “People in vanilla relationships bite one another in the height of passion.”</p><p>“I know.” John smiled slightly. “I explained to Trip that there hadn’t been a need to talk… that you and I have an unspoken understanding, but…”</p><p>“Jonathan, I’m not a novice, and neither are you. I don’t think we need to negotiate kink lists or hard limits.”</p><p>“No, I’m not suggesting that, but I know I came on pretty hard and heavy with you from the outset. I think some of that had to do with the singularity. All I’m saying is, if there’s anything you want to change, we can discuss it.”</p><p>“I don’t…” Malcolm paused. He’d been about to say that there was nothing he wanted to change, but he realized that wasn’t entirely true. “Well…”</p><p>“What?” John smiled encouragingly.</p><p>“I have to admit, I liked having some personal time last night, and a chance to eat breakfast with Trip.” He met Jonathan’s eyes. “I have been perfectly satisfied with our arrangement and it needn’t change if you’d rather not, but perhaps one night per week to myself would be nice.”</p><p>Archer nodded. “You can have three,” he said.</p><p>“Three? But I only…”</p><p>“Tuesday nights are movie night and I know you enjoy attending those with Travis,” Jon said. “Saturday nights, I like to catch a water polo match, or some other sports feed with Trip, and I know that’s not something you’re all that interested in.” Jonathan combed his fingers through Malcolm’s hair. “Thursdays you can decide for yourself what to do with.”</p><p>This was far more generous than Malcolm could have wished for. He smiled, nodding.</p><p>“I’ll want you to come to me the other four nights of the week,” Jonathan said. “Unless you’re unwell, or there’s something important going on. Then we will negotiate. Sound okay to you?”</p><p>“Yes, sir. Thank you.”</p><p>Archer kissed him and drew back, combing his fingers through Reed’s dark hair. “I never want you to feel that there’s no room for compromise, Malcolm. Back at the start, when we were under the influence of that radiation, I had a fierce desire to… own you, body and soul.”</p><p>“You <em>do.”</em></p><p>“No. I don’t, and that’s not what I want anymore. I want your trust. I want your submission, but more than any of that, I want you to give yourself to me… not to take and possess or control, but because we care for each other.”</p><p>Malcolm swallowed against a lump of emotion and closed his eyes. He drew a slow breath and let it out before he opened his eyes and met Jonathan’s gaze.</p><p>“I want that, too.” He drew Jonathan into a kiss.</p><p>A long time later, they slept.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>IV</strong>
</p><p>Trip walked into sickbay at the end of his sift the following day. He took a deep breath and squared his shoulders as he approached the doctor’s office.</p><p>“Hey, Doc.”</p><p>“Commander Tucker!” Phlox greeted him with his usual jovial manner. “Come in, have a seat.”</p><p>Nodding, Tucker sat opposite the doctor. He took another long breath, rubbing his palms against the legs of his uniform. Unaccountably nervous.</p><p>“Is there something you need, or are you simply here to…shoot the breeze?”</p><p>Trip grinned at Phlox’s attempt at using human slang. “Actually, there’s somethin’ I wanted to ask.” Another quick breath to steel his nerve. “Those regenerators of yours. How do they go with old scar tissue?”</p><p>“It would depend on the age and extent of the scarring, dermal depth, various other factors.” Phlox smiled. “I take it you’re referring to the small scar on your left pectoral region?”</p><p>Trip nodded. “It’s about 9 years old.”</p><p>“It’s small enough, I don’t foresee any issues with removing it, if that’s what you want.” Phlox gave him a quizzical look. “If I may ask, why now?”</p><p>“It happened a long time ago. Someone… a partner, hurt me by mistake. I kept it as a reminder.” Trip shrugged. “I don’t need to anymore.”</p><p>Phlox nodded and briskly got to his feet. “Come through, Commander, it won’t take more than a few minutes.”</p><p> </p><p>Leaving the sickbay twenty minutes later, Trip headed for his quarters. He glanced over his shoulder at approaching footsteps. Malcolm Reed walked behind him, his head down, studying a data padd in his hand. Trip stopped, waiting for the Lieutenant to draw nearer.</p><p>“Won’t you be late to see Jon?”</p><p>Malcolm looked up, startled. “What? Oh. No, I’m not seeing him tonight. It’s Tuesday.”</p><p>“Right.”</p><p>“I was just reading what’s on the bill for movie night.” Malcolm waved the padd. “A classic… <em>The Fifth Element. </em>Looks interesting. Care to join Travis and I?”</p><p>Trip nodded, grinning. “Wouldn’t miss it! See y’there.”</p><p>“How about a spot of dinner beforehand?”</p><p>“Sure.” Trip’s grin widened. “I’ll wash up and meet ya in the mess.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>~FIN~</strong>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>If you enjoyed this work, please leave kudos or a comment to let the author know.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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